Dear Blog,

My you have an odd name. Who named you? Don't you think it's funny when people start their diary with "Dear Diary?" Why don't I start my blog with "Dear Blog?" You know why? Because it sounds stupid. I feel like I'm writing to Ann Landers when I write that. Plus, I think it sounds a little bubblegummy. Good thing Anne Frank didn't write that before every entry. "Dear Diary: today the S.S. kicked down our door and the stench of death has seeped into hour hideout behind the bookshelf."

Truth is, when I write that salutation I think I have a tendency to get a little more personal in my entries. It simulates my conversations with a confidant.

I bought some eggs yesterday and accidentally left them out over night. They were out for about 12 hours before I put them in the fridge. Can I still use them? I wanted to make breakfast tacos. I haven't seen any in this town and my roommate doesn't even know what a breakfast taco is. I'm not one to brag, but I make a damn good breakfast taco. I have secret ingredients.

I think when people say they have secret ingredients you're supposed to believe they know what they're doing. I knew this girl that said she had a secret ingredient for her enchiladas. It turned out to be Rotel. What a bunch of shit! That's not a secret ingredient, that's a can peppers. And it's not even a secret! I'm from El Paso and nobody is fooling me with Rotel because I know the difference...I mean, can Rotel the difference. And I'll Rotel you something else, chopped Elgin sausage in queso (that's melted cheese for you non-Texans) is a secret ingredient...was a secret ingredient. Enjoy.